Do you act like a private investigator when it comes to your partner’s whereabouts? Do you always check on his or her phone? Or, do you feel uncomfortable when he or she is out with friends? You may have some trust issues, and worse, you may not be aware of it.
Trust is one of the strongest foundations of a healthy relationship. If they go unresolved, these trust issues can cost your relationship. Hence, it’s a must that you and your partner face these problems head-on. Here are some ways on how to resolve trust issues in your relationship.
1. Acknowledge the problem.
Whether it’s you or your partner who has trust issues, the first thing you need to do is to acknowledge that you have a problem. You might think that your partner is just overreacting, but the next thing you know, you’re already on the verge of breaking up. Hence, admit that there’s a problem. Only then that you’ll realize the need to do something to fix the problem in your relationship.
2. Talk it out.
As they always say, communication is the key. You are “partners”, so don’t hesitate to express each other’s thoughts and feelings. Open up to your partner about your issues. Try to understand the root cause behind your trust issues, and ask your partner for help. Could it be from your past relationship? Could it be from your family? Could it be a self-esteem issue? Or, could it be a combination of those causes? Try to figure the reason out, so you can start from there.
3. Create an action plan.
Once you have admitted that the relationship has a problem and you understand where the trust issues come from, it’s now time for you to take an action plan. Text him or her when you’re coming home late. Also, tell your boyfriend or girlfriend when you’re already in the office or at home in order for your partner to stop worrying. If you’re miles away or on a trip, it wouldn’t hurt to send him or her some pictures. Be proactive in making your partner feel secure in the relationship.
4. Introduce your partner to your family.
If you don’t introduce your partner to your family, he or she might think that you are unsure of your feelings or that you are hiding something. If you really do love the person, you are proud to tell your family about him or her. You would love your family to meet your partner and get to know him or her better.
5. Introduce your partner to your friends.
Introducing your boyfriend or girlfriend to your friends will also make him or them feel that you are proud of having a partner like him or her. Doubts will be lessened if your partner becomes familiar with the people you hang around with. More importantly, introduce your partner to the ones he or she feels threatened about. Invite your partner to hang out with them and see for himself or herself that there’s nothing to be threatened about. You may have some “boy” or “girl” friends, but he or she is your only boyfriend or girlfriend.
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6. Talk about your day.
Your partner would love to know how your day went, what tasks you were able to complete, what things you have learned, and who the people you’ve interacted with are. Also, your partner would appreciate it if you talk about your day because it lessens his or her worries.
7. Put yourself into your partner’s shoes.
When it gets harder to understand your partner, try to think about using his or her own perspective. Think of how difficult it must be for him or her to be experiencing those trust issues. For sure, he or she wouldn’t want to be in that position. Try to put yourself into your partner’s shoes if he or she has been betrayed so many times before. It must have been brave of him or her to try to enter into a relationship and learn to trust again. Have that privilege to help your partner believe in love again.
8. Share secrets with each other.
A healthy relationship does not keep secrets from each other. Hence, if you are not that open to your partner, make an effort to tell more. If he or she knows that you are willing to share your secrets with him or her, your partner will realize how much you trust him or her and that he or she should do the same.
9. Be extra patient.
We all have different experiences. Your partner may have experienced a terrible heartbreak before you met each other. The people around him or her may have broken your boyfriend or girlfriend’s trust. Hence, as a partner, you have to be extra patient. Sometimes, earning someone’s trust is a process; it takes time. Make him or her feel that you are willing to wait until he or she gives you his or her full trust.